Study, Sleep, or Stream? How to Set Apartment Boundaries With Roommates and Keep the Peace

Living with roommates is something most people have to do for a time in their lives. It can be super fun and rewarding, with people to split bills and share memories with. But it can get old fast and be frustrating at times. Maybe you’re trying to study, and your roommate is blasting music, or maybe they leave dirty dishes in the sink. There are pros and cons to living with roommates, but good communication and a few ground rules can help make your shared space a home for all who live there. Roommates can help with:

Finances: The more people you live with, the more people to chip in on bills. If you’re on a tight budget, splitting rent, utilities, and household items can really help alleviate some of the pressure of bills.

Social: Are you the type of person who loves to chat and gossip? Odds are, your roommate will become a close friend of yours, if they aren’t already. Having someone to come home to and tell about your day, make dinner with, and live your life with can be relieving and fun for many. 

Dual Responsibility: Not only are the bills shared, but so is the work. The vacuuming, dusting, dishes, and more are all shared between members of the home. This way, one person doesn’t take on all the chores and tasks for one home. This can make your living space feel more communal, with everyone equally contributing. 

Once you know what you want in a roommate and how you want to cohabitate with someone, make sure to talk and set your boundaries if you aren’t sure how. Here’s our guide on how to set boundaries with your roommates that actually stick.

Talk Before Move-In

Setting boundaries and expectations early can set a standard of living in your household that doesn’t need to be argued about if followed. Make sure to keep that open dialogue as you continue to live together; this can help avoid conflict and misunderstandings around issues like cleanliness, noise level, visitors, personal space, and more. As long as you’re upfront, hopefully, your roommate will be the same.

Another thing to talk about before you move in with someone is to make sure your roommate understands the financial commitment of where you are living. Talk about rent, utilities, how they might want to split groceries, or if they prefer to buy them on their own, etc. Often, roommates do a 50/50 split, but other times, expenses can be divided by who and what they are, taking into consideration income, usage, and more. 

Respecting Each Other’s Space

Respecting your roommate’s personal space and your roommate respecting yours will help keep you feeling happy and safe in your home. Talk before moving in about how often they might need alone time, if they want to hang out a lot, or if they need their space. 

You can also talk about their belongings, ranging from communal items like blankets or pots and pans to more personal items, and if or how they want to share them. Respecting what they want can help avoid conflict and ensure harmonious living. 

Have Check-Ins

To continue living together in peace, it’s helpful to have regular check-ins with your roommates to make sure they are living peacefully as well. If they are not, having a conflict resolution plan in place can help you navigate hard situations. This can create an open forum for you to discuss any concerns you might have and resolve them together if needed. 

This might include talking directly or having a third party there to help mediate and potentially weigh in on disagreements you might be having. Overall, as long as you are clear about what you want and expect, your home will be a peaceful place to spend time between classes and beyond. 

Divide Chores Fairly and Stick to the Plan

One of the most common complaints college students have about their roommates is the cleanliness level, or whether they can keep up with chores. Obviously, this is nuanced, but choosing a roommate you are sure will be able to match your cleanliness level can ensure that there are no mid-year conversations about the lack of cleaning or chores being done. 

Deciding who/what and when and creating a cleaning schedule can help you avoid those awkward conversations. This way, everyone knows their place and what needs to be done on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis.